From Red Righter . . . .
Cuffs, Elkton’s ornery oracle entered the North Street Hotel and found me sitting in his favorite booth. My cell phone was turned on, poised and ready for serious business. “What’s with that phone, sitting on my table in my booth? You know I hate them things,” Cuffs said, pointing at my talking device, which was dead silent, as it had been for nearly two weeks. “I’m waiting,” I replied, peeking at the front screen of the small gadget, watching its colorful face, just in case I got a call and didn’t hear it ring.
“What’s up? Somebody important going to call you?” Cuffs asked. “Well,” I said, “I’m waiting for a few calls, but they’re not from anyone really important. Or, to be more accurate,” I added, “it’s becoming more and more obvious that I’m not important, or worthy of a call back.”
The confused look on Cuffs’ face demanded an explanation. So I offered him the background on my current situation.
LETTER NUMBER 1
“You see. Right after Commissioner Broomell cast her first vote for sprinklers, back in early December, I sent her an e-mail, asking her to explain the reasons for her vote. That was on December 15th. To make sure she got it, I sent it to both her official commissioner e-mail address and her personal e-mail account. Today, more than four weeks later, I haven’t heard a word. No e-mail reply. No phone call. Nothing.”
“Big deal, Nancy!” Cuffs replied, with a sneer. “What are you crying about? The lady had Christmas shopping to deal with. Plus, even more than gathering tons of stuff from stores, the women love wrapping, and adding bows, and then filling out all those cute gift cards. And now that she’s a big shot politician, she had to go to all those holiday parties, where the swells and fine wine drinkers hang out. I mean, are you an idiot? Do you really think the new Commish is gonna put little old Red Righter at the top, middle—and since you got no call yet—even at the bottom of her ‘must reply’ list. Her Tea Party gang is probably at the top of her speed dial, not you.”
I acknowledged that Cuffs had a point, but then I explained the second part of my little operation—what I call the TEST. On January 6, I sent an e-mail to all five county commissioners, asking . . . .